It’s happened again…

It’s happened again. I’m not even sure what to call it and I’m certainly not sure about what to do about it.

Saturday was an awesome 10K run and a pace which I was pretty happy about. My only concern about this run was my reluctance to run with a water bottle. The temperatures hovered about the mid-fifties and there was a cool breeze which I counted on keeping me cool. Four miles into the run I began to overheat. No problem. I stopped briefly by the river, cooled down, took in the sights and sounds and finished the run.
This morning was my first run since Saturday. I slept well last night and when the alarm sounded at 4:30 I easily jumped out of bed. I followed my normal routine, walked to the street and two steps into the run I knew it was not going to be pretty. My legs felt heavy and my breathing never quite got into synch. The inside of both calves began to hurt indicating I was over-striding. I abbreviated my stride removing the pain almost immediately. I felt the urge to void my colon again; disgusting I know but if you ask most runners they would agree that running is probably the best natural laxative available to man. Mind you I had completed this act before going to bed the night before and just before setting out on my run this morning. In addition to feeling out of synch, I knew with this nagging issue there would be no way I could complete the distance I had hoped to complete without having an accident.
I have a nasty tendency to over-think things. i started running in a new pair of Nike Free Run 2’s and noticed this is when the difficulty began. This is despite having a pretty awesome 5.50 mile run in the same shoes just one week ago. This is also despite having run the past several months in another pair of the exact same shoe. Like I said, I have a nasty tendency to over-think things.
I have fallen into the same trap as that of the patients with whom I do counseling. I know what needs to be done. I also find myself falling into the same trap as my patients which is using denial to keep me away from what is usually the “easy” answer and instead steering myself in the direction of the more complicated answer.
I’ll get home tonight, change, eat dinner and hit my meditation cushion. It’s this centeredness which I have been lacking. I know cognitively that I can’t make excuses for my decrease in meditation in the hopes that those “good vibrations” will carry over from week to week. I’ve become one of those individuals who has used the excuse “there’s not enough time.” There is never enough time. I’ll be making that time today. I want to get back on track and I want to stay there.

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