Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about change. I think about this process a lot; as it pertains to me as well as to my clients. One day I began jotting down things I don’t need/want in my life anymore. The items on this list have outlived their stay and so I’m showing them the door.
Negativity – I recently deleted my Facebook account because of the negativity.
Shoulds, Woulds & Coulds – These are the assessments of others. There was a period of time in my life where I made choices based on what other people thought I “should” do. No more! No one knows my life and what I/it needs better than myself.
Gossip – see negativity
Empty promises – see negativity. If you think you’re going to make it to my “friend” list, I have news for you. By my “friend” list, I am not just referring to Facebook (I have a new account under an assumed name) but my personal, life list of friends. There are two people on that list and I’m not looking to grow it anytime soon. My acquaintance list on the other hand has grown over the years and like I said, it takes a lot to get on my friend list.
Lopsided friendships – This falls into the same category listed above.
Poor sleep – I’m pretty happy with the quality of my sleep…most of the time. I have a nighttime routine which I stick to with quite a bit of diligence. When I adhere to this routine, my sleep is pretty solid. When I don, not so much.
Cheap underwear – My wife, I’m Polish, what can I say, has always purchased underwear for me. It’s not that hard…boxers with a bright print. 
I love her frugality but when it comes to finding a new home for “the boys” it can’t be a low-rent district. They need a comfortable place to call their own. There’s other areas on which to skimp…
Bad coffee – Not here, not now, not anytime. I look forward to my one pot of coffee every day. I don’t buy expensive coffee because to have good coffee is more about how it’s made (the grind, water temperature, etc.) than the price of the coffee. I don’t drink Starbucks because it’s expensive and frankly it just doesn’t taste very good.
Guilt for things I shouldn’t feel guilty about – This one was always a tough one. I am grateful for my Mindfulness and meditation practice for helping to keep me focused and traveling down the middle path.
Excuses – Please!!!! Don’t waste my time!! If you have an appointment an you really want to make changes in your life, then be honest with me about any struggles you may be experiencing. If you, for whatever reason feel like you can’t be honest with me, please don’t insult me by lying to me. It all comes out in the wash.
Other people’s shit (unless they are paying me) – see excuses.
Anything that doesn’t line up with my truth or purpose as per my moral compass.
Fear – another waste of time.
Think about the things in your life which you are holding on and think about letting them go. If they’re not helping you, they’re more than likely holding you back.
Namaste
The Stoic Social Worker 